“You, a bed, the sea” (2)

aka Har$
10 min readApr 1, 2023
A broken cassette tape near a tree trunk on the pavement in the Amsterdam Pijp, with the tape spilling out.

“I went to see a Chinese wedding film with Chuck, in this open air movie theatre. There is a bar. And there were some of my friends and of Chuck’s waiting there. We had a couple of wines. But it was boring, I didn’t like it. Then we came to my place, where we got really, really stoned, and we listened to this extremely good jazz that I copied to another tape. I’m really happy about that because I really like it.

And I was talking about you a lot! Really a lot I mean. Not about you personally. I mean, I was talking about you by talking about the concept of being in love so much, so much that you don’t care about anything else. I mean… I think being in love is a situation that doesn’t depend only on the person that you are in love with, it depends as well on you self, because… I really … I don’t know, I’m not sure, but I believe that everything really starts within your self.

If I was not ready to be in love, I wouldn’t be. Not even if you were the greatest guy on earth. I mean, if I was blind at that moment, and if I was selfish and… Because, you know, I was not selfish with you. I was really open and I was exposing myself to you, and I didn’t care about shame, or about my attitude, or about whatever. I was feeling so free with you. And one can not just feel free with everybody. There are some people that you can be free with, and with others that you really can’t, even if…

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aka Har$
aka Har$

Written by aka Har$

is Harold Schellinx, a writer, artist, scientist living, working & roaming Amsterdam & elsewhere (harsmedia.com).