“You, a bed, the sea” (1)

aka Har$
9 min readApr 1, 2023
A broken cassette tape near a tree trunk on the pavement in the Amsterdam Pijp, with the tape spilling out.

“It is Wednesday around 7.30 or 8 o’clock here in the afternoon. I had a difficult day today. The only good part was that I got your letter. Although I couldn’t stop crying when you were talking about dolphins and medusas and seals …

… ‘one-two-three’ … ‘check’ … ‘one-two-two’ … ‘hoe-hoe’ …

I was just trying if the tape is recording properly, because it is a very old tape and I recorded a lot of things on it, many times before. Anyway.

Life in Greece is the same as always.
I am sitting alone in this beautiful house of mine, which doesn’t seem to be that beautiful today. I should clean it up a bit. At the very least. Things are in the right position, but there’s dust everywhere. And you know, the dirt, the dirt, the dirt… You know that I can feel it.
I was so bored today that I did the laundry, but I haven’t put the clothes in the sun, outside, yet. They’re still in the bucket, waiting for me to put them out. Also the garbage can filled up and I don’t put that out either.

I am very blue.
Very blue is what I am.

I started working for the Jiggers. I don’t know yet how much money I will get, or if it’ll be just a temporary job or if it’s gonna be a fixed one.
I’m not sure what I want, really.
On the one hand I really do want to help on the production team, and go out there every day. Ha, ha, because that will stop me of from thinking of you, from thinking of going away, from feeling miserable, from being alone.
There are some nice people working there. Funny and jolly, people that I already know. One of them is my sister, of course. We have a great time together. But on the other hand, if I am hired, it will not be easy for me to travel, to go away, to come to you.

They want me to find strange people.
People that do strange things in their lives.
Today I persuaded two skaters to come to the show and perform their skating.
And Saturday I went to the circus with a friend, because we wanted to have a couple of seals on the set. But they were too big and they couldn’t stay out of the water for more than two minutes. So it would be really miserable for them to come and be at Jiggers’.
But instead of the…

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aka Har$

is Harold Schellinx, a writer, artist, scientist living, working & roaming Amsterdam & elsewhere (harsmedia.com).